Windshield Wipers---Who Knew?

Finally!  I have exactly 11 days of no tests; it is as if I am on an unofficial fall break. 

Just to give you an idea of how stressful school has been lately: in 6 weeks, I have had 8 tests and 27 quizzes!  Some tests have gone well, and others...let's just say I'm not going to depress myself by looking at the grade.  For 6 weeks, I have studied for one test hardcore and the studied hardcore for the next one, and the next and the next.  For the next three days, I am not going to crack open one book, powerpoint, or word document pertaining to pharmacy school.

So, about two weeks ago, I was walking in my carport and saw a black tarp I was using to spray paint some chairs with puddles in it.  For a little back story, the mosquitoes have been absolutely horrid this year, and due to the drought, West Nile has become a big concern here.  It seemed that anytime it was finally feeling livable outside I would get bitten by one of those vexatious little vampires and forced back inside the house.  I would check everywhere to make sure I didn't have any sitting water for the buggers to bred in.  Well, those puddles were already teaming with little mosquito spawn, so I started to shake the tarp out.

What should fall onto my bare feet but a snake!

I didn't see the snake first, just felt something worm-like fall onto my feet, then looked down to see an eight inch brown snake.  Some valuable information about myself was learned in those few moments: when I get startled, I don't scream.  A little yip of "yeek" escapes me while the tarp is tossed away from me, and I leap about five feet backwards.  The snake lands at the edge of my carport and just sits there, maybe playing dead?  For what seemed like five minutes, I just stood next to my car staring at this anomaly of urban living.  Back at home, I would totally expect a snake to surprise me because we have woods in our backyard.  But in the middle of the city??!!! Snakes don't belong here.  Rodents and cockroaches should be the only vermin in the area.  

So, for those five minutes, I was just trying to make sense of the creature in front of me.  I also started thinking about what kind of a snake it was.  Back home, with copperheads and cottonmouths being prevalent, we have the philosophy of kill on sight, unless it is without a doubt not poisonous.  This little snake didn't look like a copperhead, but I hadn't ever seen a baby copperhead; its pattern could be a little different from the adult version.  I just knew that five minutes ago I didn't think that snakes existed in the city, so could copperheads exist?  A poisonous snake was something I didn't want around the house, so I decided that this snake had to be taken care of. 

But with what, I was standing bare foot outside.  I didn't want to run inside for a knife because 1) I didn't have a knife long enough to keep my hand away from striking distance 2) running outside with a knife may look disturbing to the neighbors and 3) I didn't want it to slither away while I was gone.  Some tools were kept in my car, so I quietly made my way to unlatch the trunk and see what was available.  Unfortunately, there was nothing suitable.  I was about to shut my trunk when I saw the old windshield wipers laying in the very back.  

When I started driving, my dad told me to keep my old windshield wipers when I switched them out.  You never know when oil could be splashed onto your windshield while it was raining and ruin your current wipers.  So, I grabbed one of the wipers to check it out.  It was about a foot and a half long and had some heavy metal on it for the blade support.  Weighing this potential weapon in my hand, I looked back to the still present snake and decided to try it.  I crept up to the snake and held the wiper blade-side up.  When I was about two feet away, I extended the wiper until it was hovering just above the snake's neck.  Heart beating fast, I drew in a deep breath, counted to three, and then hammered the wiper as hard as I could onto the concrete.  I wanted this to be as quick and painless as possible.

One whack was all it took.  In one quick motion, the snake was no longer a threat.  I had just done for the first time what my dad had done my whole life, and now that the act was done, I felt guilty.  This was my first blood-filled creature to kill with malicious intent (except for mosquitoes).  I watched as its mouth reflexively opened and closed, a good reminder to always take a snake's head seriously despite the lack of body behind it.  It was only a baby, and upon closer inspection, it wasn't a copperhead, just a garden snake.  But, I just couldn't risk the chance of it being poisonous.  There are plenty of snakes in the world.

At that moment, the mailman walked up, and it suddenly struck me just how odd the situation was.  Here was a girl holding a windshield wiper in her hand over a beheaded snake.  He seemed to handle the strange occurrence well, not even asking about the scene as he delivered the mail.

I looked at the wiper in my hand and couldn't help but think about one of Flynn Rider's many famous quotes.