Communication

You know what is a fun word? Oxymoron. 

 It's a word where you sound as if you are making up a word, trying to insult someone in a unique way, or just trying to be smart and failing.  Normally, things like jumbo shrimp, fast snail, and tall hobbit come to mind, but what about this one: pharmacist counseling.

Pharmacist

Biochemistry, Medicinal chemistry, Pharmaceutics, Pharmacology, Pharmacokinetics, Molecular Biology and Biotechnology, Anatomy and Physiology..the life of a pharmacy student is stock full of science.  We are in the process of learning three new languages simultaneously.  One language is the language of drugs: drug names (brand and generic) and dosing information.  The second language is the language of science: enzymes, functional groups, reactions, products, cause and effect etc. And, the final language is the language of clinical terms: rhabdomyolysis,  pruritus,  orthostatic hypotension, somnolence.  

Learning all of these languages is what makes pharmacy school difficult, for keeping every -itis, -osis, and -ase straight is something of a miracle.  

Counseling

Here is where the oxymoron comes into play.  You see, every day I learn more and more of the three languages that will make up my profession.  We have discussions where we all can't believe that such things came out of our mouths.  For instance, a text I sent one of my friends a while back read, "The notes say that 5-FU is a bioisostere of uracil, makes sense from the name, but how is it not more related to thymidine since it has a 5' substituent?"  Specialized jargon is expected to come with any job that you go into, and the excitement of one day understanding that jargon with no problems is always thrilling.  However, when you forget what ataxia is or the clinical term for a bumpy nose on a test, the jargon can become a much despise thing.  And here is the real kicker: in all of our professional classes, we are learning to completely ditch the jargon all together.

It makes sense.  What patient is going to calmly understand, "this cream  may cause erythematous maculopapular reactions and pruritus."  No, if I were given that list before pharmacy school, I would promptly give the drug back to the pharmacist and say, "No thanks, I'm a fan of staying alive." We are trained to turn that medical mumbo jumbo into "this cream may cause your skin to become irritated."  Those side effects still don't sound fun, but they aren't a death sentence.  

Pharmacist Counseling

"Pharmacist counseling" is an oxymoron because we are taught and tested over this entire medial (clinical) language, but then promptly told not to ever use it.  The translation to patient I can understand the need for, but what really makes me throw my hands in the air is the existence of the language itself. If it were something that transcended world language, I would again understand the need for clinical terms; however, I just looked up "pruritus" in spanish, and it is "prurito," according to Google Translate.  When every ounce of brain storage space is needed, one can't help but start wondering at the necessity of the information going in.  One good thing does come from learning the language: you sound so smart speaking it!